Beautiful Violence
by Lycans-DollHouse
Summary: Short one-shot from Bella s POV before Jacob pulls her out of the water.


**Extracts taken from New Moon, Stephanie Meyer in italics. All belongs to Mrs Meyer im simply playing in her world. Short oneshot that bounced about my head, review.**

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_These violent delights have violent ends_

_And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,_

_Which, as they kiss, consume_

Romeo & Juliet, Act 2 Scene VI

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent. _

"_You...don't...want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order. "No." I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology .His eyes were like topaz- hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken._

"_Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense._

_The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where I'd put it last. I lifted the cover with a shaking hand. I didn't have to flip any further than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held a picture in place. The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom : Edward Cullen, Charlies kitchen, Sept.13__th__. _

_I stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough._

_It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me._

_I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that i was fainting, but, to my disappointment, i didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under._

_I did not resurface._

October

November

December

January

_The ocean sounded very far away, somehow farther than before, when I was on the path in the trees. I grimaced when I thought of the probable temperature of the water. But i wasn't going to let that stop me. The wind blew stronger now; whipping the rain into eddies around me._

_And i flung myself off the cliff. Yes! The word echoed through my head as i sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than I'd feared, and yet the chill only added to the high. I was proud of myself as i plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn't one moment of terror—just pure adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn't scary at all. Where was the challenge?_

That was when the current caught me, dragging me down into the deeper darker depths of water stealing what oxygen I held in my lungs. But the scary thing? I didn't care. I didn't care that I had no idea which way to swim, that I didn't have enough oxygen or that the cold biting water was paralysing my limbs. I was dying and I knew it, yet I really didn't mind, Edwards voice still reverberated through my mind as he begged me to swim, his liquid voice the whole reason I'd jumped off the cliff.

I didn't want to fight anymore.

Edwards face flashed before my eyes, everything in perfect detail, from the emotional eyes to the defined jaw, even the curve of his shoulder where I'd go to sleep. Every little detail that I had tried so hard not to think about since he walked away and left me in the woods was clear before my eyes. I was happy to see his face before I died, but it still hurt. I still felt this massive gaping hole in my chest that burnt in agony and made me gasp, drawing more water in my lungs. He was my everything, my entire reason for leaving and he walked away. The thought of living the rest of my natural years without him made me reel, my head stubbornly refusing to accept that option. So my body gave up. Stopped fighting.

Edwards voice still spoke in my mind, ordering me to swim for the shore shouting at me to stop being so stupid. It was a bit silly really when I thought about it, doing all these dangerous things simply because he would be angry at me for being reckless, and eventually drowning myself to hear his voice again. But what a voice, like velvet, it was worth all this to hear it again even if it only shows I've gone crazy by hearing it in my head.

I floated in the dark water, it didn't seem so cold anymore almost warm as my body began to shut down. I've always thought it's so beautiful underwater, you see things differently its amazing. The last thing i saw before my eyes shut was the light shimmering through the dangerous water above me, in all its beautiful violence.

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